


The Pineapple's Sleeve

by KiraHeartilly



Category: The Hare and the Pineapple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:53:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26202217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiraHeartilly/pseuds/KiraHeartilly
Summary: A pineapple challenges a hare to a race.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	The Pineapple's Sleeve

Sometime a long time ago, the forest animals could all speak English. Fruits and vegetables were able to speak as well. During this time, a pineapple once challenged a hare to a race. The hare laughed, puffing its chest out with pride. “I am the fastest animal in the forest, and you, a pineapple, dare to challenge me‽” He spoke with such feeling that his sentences received interrobangs and not question marks. (An interrobang is like an exclamation mark for questions.)

“Yes, I dare to challenge you to a race!” said the pineapple.

“This has to be a joke!” said the hare. Tropical fruits were known for telling lots of jokes. “But if you insist, I shall race you to demonstrate my speed. I have nothing better to do than prove myself to random strangers.”

“Then we shall race for 26 miles,” said the pineapple. Fruits liked to measure in the imperial system. “May the best animal win.”

“You are not even an animal!” the hare protested. “You are a tropical fruit!”

“So then you acknowledge the possibility I may win the race?” the pineapple inquired.

“That isn’t what I meant,” said the hare.

The other forest animals all gathered around to watch. They loved a good argument. Forests are very boring so when you got entertainment like this, you savored it, even putting aside things like food chains and natural predatory instincts. Even the owl, who would normally just eat the hare, was excited to watch.

“I know, the pineapple must be trying to trick us,” said a moose. “Hares are faster than pineapples, so we will naturally root for the hare. But it will probably take a nap and the pineapple will cross the finish line while the hare sleeps! Then we will look like fools.”

This was just like the famous story of the tortoise and the hare. Maybe the moose had heard it from a human. Or maybe animals could read too. Don’t ask me, I’m not an animal expert.

The animals agreed and eagerly waited for the beginning of the race. “We shall go on the count of three,” said the hare. “Would you do us the honors?” he asked the owl.

“One, two,” began the owl. But before the owl could finish, the pineapple fell over in the wind, landing on a pizza.

(I forgot to mention, there was a pizza there.)

“No!” The others gasped, horrified by the sight. “This is truly disgusting!”

The hare felt sick, unable to stomach what it saw. “I am feeling too unwell to participate in this race,” it said. “I forfeit, you are the winner.”

**Moral** : Pineapples do not go on pizza.


End file.
